


Fucking Good

by darlingcarmilla



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, but anyway, f o r give me, sh im tired, sorry this is so fucking cheesy ksjdfhkjsdhfks, the specifics of this shit are kinda vague, unecessarily cheesy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 09:19:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12932247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingcarmilla/pseuds/darlingcarmilla
Summary: Kinda vague but I guess this is maybe between s1 and 2 in some imaginary time and maybe not quite canon? Idk basically it's after Todd tells Amanda he doesn't have pararibulitus and then she sees him again, and then she feels like shit and Farah comforts her. Just basically some fucking cheesy gay fluff dtfghjk





	Fucking Good

Amanda sat down shakily, seeing Todd again was... unexpected. After everything she'd been through... after everything they'd been though too. She hated this. She hated this feeling in the pit of her stomach, like the world was sinking, folding in on itself. The Rowdy 3 made things uncomplicated. Strange, but uncomplicated. with them she was part of a fluid dynamic, part of an ever changing, ever flowing part of the universe... or some kind of nerdy bullshit like that. She knew it was bullshit, but it was still true. That something-ness she had with them, being part of a group that was tangible; rough and tumble. Each hug, punch, fight, shout... she knew that she was part of something tangible, and she was herself. Each attack was less and less some inexplicable, terrifying hallicination. Now, it she could feel it was palpable energy; they all felt it.

She liked things like that... tangible, palpable... proof of something real. She didn't have to think her way in and out of situations, they just... were. But with Todd it was different. with Todd is was scary and vague and not... tangible. It was this vague dissastisfaction and fear. This fear that her world view had been built on a foundation that didn't exist. Something rotten and unstable. Certainly, the Rowdy 3 had given her some new perspectives, but it was more building than dismantling. Todd was different, his very existence toyed with the foundations of her beliefs. She shuddered.

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice called firmly but gently.  
"Farah?" Amanda wiped away a few tears roughly with the sleeve of her jacket, "What? No, it's..."  
"I heard about, well I mean... with you and Todd that-that... Sorry I don't mean that I know more than I should know, or that there's much to know, or even that I've in posession of knowledge in any way that would violate-"  
Amanda laughed softly, ushering Farah (who was pacing nervously) over "Come here."   
Farah obeyed with little hesistance, awkwardly sitting against the wall next to Amanda, leaving a little space between them, but Amanda sidled closer and smiled up at her.   
"You mind?" she asked, barely giving Farah time to answer before resting her head on Farah's shoulder. Farah didn't mind.  
"Sorry." Farah mumbled nervously, half uncertain of whether or not she should be, or really what she should be saying, if anything at all.  
Amanda didn't reply, but Farah felt Amanda's mouth curve into a little smile against her shoulder. 

After a few moments of silence, Farah carefully syncing her breathing with Amanda's... slow and steady... calm, Amanda spoke again.  
"Farah, I'm scared." She murmured.  
Farah sat silently for a moment, she had no idea how to reply to that, it was the last thing she expected to come out of Amanda's mouth.  
"Sorry, you don't have to... like... fix this." Amanda added, "I'm just tired of this-this bullshit. It's absolute bullshit, y'know?"  
"I-I'm not certain I do, but I think I might? But, Amanda, what exactly is it that scares you? Not that-that... you have to know exactly, I mean it's hard to know the exact specifications of anything and I can babble about anything but that doesn't mean I'm telling you anything. I mean... anything useful, that is. Anything useful could be anythng anad I don't know that I have the anything that you need, except I might have a something... Do you think...?"  
Amanda laughed, loudly this time, Farah could feel every vibration of Amanda's laugh against her chest, "well I don't know if it has to be that complicated, but I don't know if I know what I should know either. But... thank you."

"You're... entirely welcome, of course."  
Amanda laughed again, before continuing, "Okay, but seriously dude, I'm freaking out a bit, which I often am, of course... but with Todd it's like... a different freaking out."  
"In what way?"  
"Like, pararibulitis sucks, it's fucking bullshit... but it's realiable bullshit, y'know? I mean I'd always thought Todd was reliable, he was like, my hero, y'know? He was everything. Like I always thought he would be there, looking out for me, and doing good shit, y'know? He was like, part of how I understood the world. Like he was real... or... that version of him was real. But now it's gone. The hero I always admired was gone. It fucking sucks. Like, before you, and Dirk I guess... I didn't know many people. I knew like, Todd... and my parents... I didn't know many people. That was like... it. But Todd was everything, y'know? He was fun, and he was normal and casual and good. He was fucking good, like just, like a decent person. It's good to know one of those, y'know?"  
"Well, I might not be as fucking good as you imagined him to be, but I can try to be a decent person, if that helps? I mean... I try... I try to be a good person, somewhat decent. It might be considered indecent to be involved in certain illegal activities which I have been involved in, but I haven't technically-"

"No, I'd consider you fucking good." Amanda laughed, sitting up to smile at Farah, her dimples appearing suddenly. That caught Farah off guard.  
"Thanks... I-I... certainly have never recieved that compliment before, but I, um... "  
"You've been hanging out with the wrong people then." Amanda replied kissing Farah on the cheek quickly and then giggling, "In fact, I'd even say you're pretty fucking good."  
"Well, I'll have to, um... hold my other friends," Farah paused at that, realising how much of a loser she was, how few friends she had, God, "To a higher standard then. You've, certainly set the bar."  
"Good! You deserve a higher bar, for sure, with like, backrubs and shit."  
Farah let out a small laugh, "Backrubs?"  
"Yeah, totally, you're like... the most fucking good, fucking cool chick I've ever met. You deserve only the best."  
Farah took a sharp breath and slowly breathed out looking at her shoes nervously, "It's uh, it's the first I've heard of that, but, uh... thank you. If you'd like my opinion, I'd say that you're cool and decent and good. I mean, it's... it's... the role you're scared to leave unfulfilled may no longer suit your brother because it was based on a fantasy... But that doesn't mean those heros don't exist." She paused for a moment to look up at Amanda, "I think... you're a hero, Amanda Brotzman. I really do."

They looked into each other's eyes for a moment, waiting, hesitant.  
"Do you think heroes can get the girl?"  
Farah scrunched up her face for a second in confusion, then found herself getting hot, and wondering if Amanda really meant what she thought Amanda meant. "I think... so..."  
Amanda smiled again before leaning in gently to kiss Farah, her hand against Farah's neck. Farah found herself leaning forward, wrapping her arms around Amanda's waist. They pulled back for a second before leaning in again, and with a little giggle, Amanda pressed her lip against Farah's and they kissed again, for a much, much longer time.


End file.
